dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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