She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
