Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
