1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
worst night to have a conscience
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
