So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
