Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
