girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
