I looked at my own cervix.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
