do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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