why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize