Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO