Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
