you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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