The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
