glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
