if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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