And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
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Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
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How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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