I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
