at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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