Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
