Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
