Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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