I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
