Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
