Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize