I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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