I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My bed smells like the plague
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
