She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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