when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
