GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
