We're like a lot better than the average bears
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
