he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
