Someone shit on the floor
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You're a disaster
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