I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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