I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The air taste purple.
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