so explain again why im purple
no
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I want her autograph on my taint
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
