he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
