so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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