wat bout pragnant strippers??
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
