if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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