I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
