Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
