everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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