I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
