Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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