just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize