So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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