Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
