Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
