I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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