Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
