my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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