So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize