I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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