your parents love me but you hate me
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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