she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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