Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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