My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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