Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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