He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
