Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
