god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
