Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
