Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
