i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
her vagine was all disorganized.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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