I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
