No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
