I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
