i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Shame - the story of my life.
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