...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
