wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
